I Feel Like Nobody Understands Me
It's a really common feeling at your age, and it's often a sign you're figuring out who you are. Here's how to feel more understood, one person at a time.
In this guide
I feel like nobody really gets me. Not my parents, not my friends. I can't explain it, I just feel alone even around people.
You’re laughing with your friends, but inside you feel far away. Your parents ask how your day was, and you don’t even know where to start. It can feel like you’re speaking a different language from everyone around you.
If that’s you, you’re not weird and you’re not alone. This is one of the most common feelings in the teenage years.
Why it happens so much right now
You’re changing fast: what you care about, what you think, who you want to be. Sometimes the people around you haven’t caught up yet, and sometimes you haven’t fully put it into words yourself. It’s hard for people to understand something you’re still figuring out.
Feeling misunderstood can also come with being stressed, tired or down. When you’re struggling, it’s easy to feel like nobody could possibly get it.
Understand yourself a little better first
It’s easier to be understood when you can name what’s going on. Try writing about:
- What’s one thing I wish people knew about me?
- When did I last feel really understood? Who was I with?
- What feeling has been hardest for me lately?
There are more in our journal prompts for when your head is too loud.
Let one person in
You don’t need everyone to understand you. One person is a great start. Pick someone who’s a good listener and try sharing something a little more real than usual:
People can only understand what they get to see. Sharing a little is how you find out who’s safe to share more with.
Find your people
Sometimes feeling misunderstood means you haven’t met the people who share your interests yet. A club, a class, an online community around something you love (with privacy settings on), an art or music group. The right people can make you feel understood fast.
Give your parents a chance to get it
Parents often ask the wrong questions. “How was school?” gets “fine.” It can help to give them a way in: “Can I tell you about something that’s been on my mind?” Here are some tips on how to talk to your parents so they listen.
