Homesickness: Why It Hits and What Actually Helps
Missing home at college, camp or on a trip? What homesickness feels like, how to cope, how long it lasts, and when to talk to someone.
In this guide
Homesickness is the ache of missing home, family, your room, your dog, even the way your house smells, when you’re somewhere new. It’s a normal reaction to a big change, and it usually gets easier as the new place starts to feel familiar.
It can hit at sleepaway camp, on a school trip, on an exchange year, or in your first weeks of college. You might not even call it homesickness. It can just feel like a heavy mood, a stomachache or being unable to focus. Here’s what it looks like and what actually helps.
What is homesickness, exactly?
Afton Kapuscinski, a psychology professor at Syracuse University, describes it as “a common and normal emotional reaction to living in a new place apart from familiar people and surroundings.” Carrie Brown, a counseling director at the same school, says it can show up in your feelings, thoughts, behavior and body.
According to that same article, homesickness can look like:
- sadness, loneliness or anxiety
- trouble concentrating
- pulling away from people
- headaches, stomachaches or fatigue
- changes in appetite or sleep
The University of Rhode Island’s counseling center adds irritability, mood swings and losing interest in campus life to the list. It also names calling or visiting home all the time as a sign. So if you feel off after a move and can’t say why, homesickness is a good first guess.
How to deal with homesickness at college
College is where most of this advice comes from, because counseling centers hear about it every September. Their tips overlap a lot:
- Build a routine. Syracuse lists comforting routines first. URI says a daily routine with classes, study time and social stuff helps.
- Make your space feel like yours. Lafayette College’s counseling center suggests bringing familiar items and photos to create your “home away from home.”
- Eat with other people. Lafayette says to schedule plans to eat with others, and to invite people to study together as a low-key way to start connections.
- Put your phone down in the moment. Lafayette suggests resisting the urge to pick up your phone when you could be making small talk.
- Join one thing. A club, an intramural team or a campus event gets you around other people who are also figuring it out (Syracuse, URI).
- Take care of the basics. Syracuse, Lafayette and URI all name sleep, food and exercise. If your nights are a mess, start with how to sleep better.
- Explore your area. Walk around campus and the town. Lafayette suggests getting to know the local area and using places like the library and rec center.
Someone else on your hall is probably hoping for exactly this text. More on this in how to make friends in college.
Should you call home or go home every weekend?
Staying in touch is good. Lafayette suggests scheduling a call or FaceTime with loved ones, and Syracuse says to keep in touch while setting healthy limits. The trap is making contact with home so constant that you never settle in where you are.
Both Lafayette and URI say to resist going home every weekend, and URI says that going home often can slow your adjustment. A good middle path:
- Pick call times, like Sunday afternoon, so you have something to look forward to.
- Stay on campus most weekends, and plan a visit home when you really want one.
- Invite family or an old friend to visit you, as URI suggests.
Homesick at camp or on a trip?
The same basics apply, and so does the good news: feeling homesick doesn’t mean you picked the wrong thing. A few ideas that fit short stays:
- Preview it. KidsHealth says getting familiar with a new camp or school before the first day helps, for example by looking at photos or talking with families whose kids have gone. It also notes that kids often worry about practical things like sleeping, eating and bathrooms. Ask the camp about all of those ahead of time.
- Pack a small piece of home. A photo, your own pillowcase or a playlist.
- Stay in the activities. Being busy with the group gives your mind something else to do.
- Talk to someone. A counselor, a cabin leader or an older camper who has been through it can help.
- Check the phone rules. Camps and trips differ, so ask what’s allowed before you go and plan around it.
What makes homesickness worse
- Burying it. Lafayette’s advice is “Don’t try to bury the feeling.” Talk to an older sibling, an RA, a counselor or a mentor who has been through it.
- Numbing it. Lafayette says alcohol, drugs and other unhealthy coping can make things worse. At this age, they also add legal and safety problems.
- Staying in your room. Pulling away is on the list of signs above, and it keeps the feeling going. Even a short walk or a coffee run counts.
- Comparing. Social media is a highlight reel, so everyone else looks fine. If scrolling makes it worse, see how to stop doomscrolling.
Writing helps some people sort through the feeling. Try a few journal prompts. Lafayette also suggests looking for patterns in when it hits and comparing it to past transitions.
How long does homesickness last?
Lafayette’s counseling center says homesickness generally begins to decrease after a few weeks. Syracuse calls it usually temporary and a natural part of adjusting. A rough day after a good week doesn’t mean you’re back at the start.
Homesick can also turn into loneliness that sticks. If that sounds familiar, read how to deal with loneliness.
When to get help for homesickness
Syracuse says to seek help if the distress is severe, persistent or disrupts daily life, such as missing classes, isolating or feeling hopeless. Lafayette says if the feelings continue or get worse, consider reaching out to the counseling center.
That could mean a campus counseling center (Lafayette and Syracuse both mention groups or workshops), a school counselor, a camp director, a parent or your doctor. You don’t have to wait until it’s an emergency.
