How to Improve Your Body Image (Without Waiting to Love Your Body)

To improve your body image, you don’t have to love your body every day. You can change how you think and talk about it, change what you look at online, and focus on what your body does for you. Those are all things you can start this week.

Almost everyone has days when the mirror feels like an enemy. This guide is about the thoughts and habits behind that feeling, not about changing how you look. No diets, no numbers, no “fixing” yourself.

What is body image?

According to KidsHealth, body image is the way you think about your body, including your thoughts and feelings about it. Those thoughts can be good or bad, and they can change over time.

That last part matters. Your body image isn’t a fixed fact about you. It’s a set of thoughts and habits, and thoughts and habits can shift.

Why does body image get so hard?

KidsHealth names a few things that can pull it down:

• Comparing yourself to others. It can lower how you see your own body.
• Harsh self-talk. KidsHealth says negative comments about your body, whether said out loud or only in your head, can hurt self-esteem as much as criticism from someone else.
• Bigger things going on. Health problems, depression, trauma or an eating disorder can affect how you feel about your body.

Social media adds to it. Cleveland Clinic says filters and editing make it easy to post an idealized version of yourself, which can lead to anxiety and shame, and that comparing yourself to others’ posts is an unhealthy dynamic, especially for young people. It also notes that mirror-image settings and selfie angles can change how your face looks. So what you see on a screen isn’t the full picture, even when it’s of you.

If comparison is your biggest trigger, read how to stop comparing yourself to others too.

How can I improve my body image?

1. Talk to yourself like you’d talk to your best friend

KidsHealth suggests asking: would I say this to my best friend? If your friend said “I hate my legs,” you wouldn’t agree with her. Catch the thought, then reply the way you would to her.

2. Try body neutrality instead of forcing “love”

If “love your body” feels fake, you’re not alone. Cleveland Clinic explains that body positivity means loving your body, while body neutrality means neither loving nor hating it, with a focus on acceptance and respect, and on what your body can do rather than how it looks. It gives examples like “I accept my body as it is” and “My body works hard and deserves kindness.”

Neutral is a great place to start. You don’t have to feel amazing, just calmer.

3. Appreciate what your body can do

KidsHealth suggests appreciating what your body can do, like moving, playing and hugging. Make a list: dance in your room, carry groceries, hug your dog, sit through a long movie with your best friend. Looks are one tiny part of what your body is for.

4. Accept the compliment

When someone says something nice, KidsHealth says to accept it with a simple “thank you.” Don’t argue and don’t return it with a put-down about yourself.

5. Name something you like each time you look in the mirror

KidsHealth recommends naming things you like about your looks each time you look in the mirror, and asking someone you trust if you get stuck. It can be small: your smile, your hands, your hair on a good day. If it feels silly, try something neutral instead, like “my eyes help me see everything I like.”

How do I fix my feed?

You can’t control what the internet shows you, but you can change what you spend time on.

• Take breaks. Cleveland Clinic suggests limiting your time online and scheduling your social media use when it’s hurting your self-esteem.
• Remember it’s a snippet. A photo is one moment, picked from many, often edited. Cleveland Clinic says to take it with a grain of salt.
• Unfollow what makes you feel worse. If an account leaves you feeling less than, you’re allowed to mute or unfollow. It doesn’t need an explanation.
• Follow people who show real life. Hobbies, books, art, sports, humor, people who don’t center their bodies.

For more on how phones affect your mood, see how to stop doomscrolling.

What about friends and body talk?

Body talk is catching. “I look so gross today” from one person makes everyone else check themselves. Cleveland Clinic advises avoiding diet talk, and picking body-positive or neutral language when someone criticizes their body.

You can set the tone without a lecture:

• Change the subject: “Okay, but did you see that new episode?”
• Reply to the feeling, not the body: “That sounds like a rough day.”
• Keep compliments about things other than appearance: her humor, her effort, how she treats people.

Wearing clothes that feel comfortable helps, too. If you dread getting dressed, pick the outfit that lets you think about the day instead of how you look in it.

When to talk to someone

Everyone has hard body-image days. But KidsHealth says to tell a parent, doctor or therapist and ask for help when body image or self-esteem problems feel like too much to handle alone, or when health issues, depression, trauma or an eating disorder may be involved. It also says body image and self-esteem can get better with help and care.

Cleveland Clinic also notes that being consumed by perceived flaws in your appearance (body dysmorphic disorder) is a mental health condition that needs mental health treatment, and that cognitive behavioral therapy can help. You don’t have to figure out the label yourself. A professional can.

It’s worth telling someone if:

• thoughts about your body or what you eat take up much of your day
• you avoid friends, school or activities because of how you look
• you feel guilt or panic around food or exercise
• you feel sad, hopeless or worthless most days

Start with a parent, a school counselor or your doctor. If you’re not sure how to bring it up, here’s how to tell your parents you want to talk to a therapist. And if a lot of this comes from feeling not good enough in general, how to stop feeling insecure goes further.

Questions people ask