How to Get Over a Breakup When You Still See Them Every Day at School
Breakups are harder when your ex is in your classes and your group chat. How to get through school days, what to do online, and how to feel like you again.
In this guide
Breakups hurt. Breakups where you still see the person in second period, at lunch and in the hallway every day hurt in a whole extra way. You can’t take space when they sit two rows ahead of you.
Here’s how to get through it, one school day at a time.
First: what you’re feeling is normal
Sad, angry, embarrassed, relieved, all of them in one afternoon? That’s what breakups feel like, whether you were together two months or two years, and whether you ended it or they did. Crying, not being hungry, replaying conversations at night, checking their profile: all very common in the first few weeks.
It does get better. Not in a straight line, but it does.
The first week
- Let yourself be sad. Cry, journal, listen to the sad playlist. Pushing feelings away usually makes them last longer.
- Tell your people. Pick one or two friends you trust and let them know. You don’t need to explain it to everyone.
- Keep the basics going. Eat something, sleep, shower, go to school. Small routines hold you together.
- Don’t make big decisions. Like quitting the team you’re both on. Give it a few weeks first.
Seeing them at school
Have a plan for the hard spots
Think about where you’ll run into them: a shared class, the lunch table, their locker. Small changes help, like walking a different hallway, sitting with different friends at lunch for a while or arriving to class right on time instead of early.
Be polite, not friends (yet)
You don’t have to act like nothing happened, and you don’t have to ignore them like they don’t exist. A small nod or a “hey” is enough. Being “just friends” right away usually makes it harder to move on. Maybe later.
If you share a class or a group project
Keep it about the work. Sit somewhere else if you can, and if seeing them every day is really affecting you, it’s okay to quietly ask a teacher or school counselor if anything can change.
When they’re with someone new
Seeing your ex with someone else can feel like a punch. You don’t have to watch. Look away, go somewhere else, text a friend. It doesn’t mean you weren’t important.
Online
- Mute, unfollow or block. Muting is private. Seeing their stories every day keeps the wound open.
- Don’t post about them, even vague posts. They can make things worse at school.
- Don’t check who they’re talking to. If you can’t stop, delete the app for a week.
- Archive old photos and chats instead of rereading them at midnight.
Leaning on your phone too much? Our tips on how to stop doomscrolling help.
Things that help you move on
- Spending time with friends who make you laugh
- Doing something you love, like a sport, art or music
- Writing down what you learned about what you want
- Letting time do some of the work
- Texting them at night “just to talk”
- Asking their friends what they said about you
- Starting a new relationship just to feel better
- Pretending you’re fine when you’re not
For more on letting go, read how to get over a crush. Many of the same steps work after a breakup.
When it’s more than sad
If weeks go by and you still can’t sleep, eat or focus, if you’re skipping school or if you feel hopeless, talk to someone. If you have thoughts of hurting yourself, call or text 988 any time.
