How to Get Over a Crush Who Doesn’t Like You Back
Let yourself feel it, but don't live there. What actually helps when your crush doesn't feel the same, from social media distance to filling the space.
In this guide
Maybe they told you they don’t feel the same. Maybe they started dating someone else. Maybe you just know. Either way, you still like them, and you’re stuck seeing them in the hallway every day.
Getting over a crush who doesn’t like you back takes time, but there are things that make it faster and less painful. Here’s what helps.
Let yourself feel it
It’s tempting to say “whatever, I didn’t even like them that much.” But KidsHealth says the first step in handling rejection is to admit it to yourself. Don’t try to brush off the hurt or pretend it doesn’t hurt.
Be sad for a bit. Cry if you need to. Name what you feel: disappointed, embarrassed, left out. Feelings you admit pass faster than feelings you push down.
But don’t live there
Feeling it is different from replaying it on a loop. KidsHealth puts it this way: admit how you feel, but don’t dwell on it. Going over it nonstop keeps the hurt fresh.
If you catch yourself rereading old texts at midnight, that’s a loop. Here’s how to stop overthinking.
Watch the story you tell yourself
“They don’t like me back” is a fact. “They don’t like me because I’m ugly” or “no one will ever like me” are not facts. They’re guesses, and mean ones. KidsHealth warns that self-blaming thoughts like these make a rejection feel much bigger than it is.
Try: “This one person doesn’t feel the same way. That’s about their feelings, not about whether I’m likeable.”
Create some distance
Distance is what helps feelings fade. You don’t have to be cold or dramatic about it.
- Mute or hide their stories for a while. Checking their profile restarts the clock every time.
- Archive the chat. You don’t have to delete it. You just shouldn’t see it every time you open your phone.
- Don’t ask friends for updates about who they’re talking to.
- Be polite in person. Say hi, be normal, then move on to your own stuff.
Notice what you actually liked
Write down what you liked about them. Their humor? How they listened? That they were into the same music? Those are things you want in a person, and lots of people have them. It moves you from “I need this one person” to “I know what I like.”
And be honest: write down anything that wasn’t great, like if they only texted when they were bored. Crushes tend to make us forget those.
Fill the space
Crushes take up a lot of brain time. When that space opens up, put something in it:
- Plan things with friends. Here are things to do with friends when you’re bored.
- Go hard on something you’re good at: a sport, art, music, a game.
- Try something new, like a club or a new skill.
- Journal it out. These journal prompts can help.
Can you stay friends?
Sometimes, yes. But usually not right away. If being around them still makes your heart drop, give yourself a few weeks of distance first. Friendship works better when you’re not secretly hoping it turns into more.
How long does it take?
There’s no set timeline. KidsHealth says rejection can hurt a lot, but it’s not the end of the world. For some people it’s a few weeks, for others longer, especially if you see them every day. One day you’ll realize you haven’t thought about them in a while.
If you’ve felt down for weeks, can’t focus on school, or the sadness feels like more than just this crush, talk to a parent, school counselor or another adult you trust. Here are some coping skills for bad days in the meantime.
